and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
