your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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