we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
