ya dads aren't the best wingmen
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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