I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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