oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
