i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
