Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
