In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
