it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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