She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
