Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
