She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize