Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
