I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
