His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
