First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
