I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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