Sponge bath it is.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
