At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Help. Why am I so naked?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
