Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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