can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
