Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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