Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
