its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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