So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
