Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
