I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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