so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
