i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
