I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
