I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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