Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
