Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
