some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
