Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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