I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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