the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
