we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
