You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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