Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
