he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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