:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
