how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
