the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
