I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My feet surprised me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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