It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
