My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I want to be your penis for a week.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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