I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
