She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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